It's all Raquel's fault. She has been trying to get me to start a blog for years...apparently there's gold in my thought process; I'm inclined to think my thoughts aren't gold, but perhaps golden-spray painted poker chips (like poker chips, my thoughts intermittently feel like winners and losers depending on what I'm thinking about or whose 'hand' I'm holding at the time).
I've been racking my brain trying to come up with a first post. Raquel suggested I just use some of the emails I send her way as material. I'm more inclined to have her collect all the emails I have sent her over the past 10 years so I could just reuse them--the equivalent of re-gifting a spice rack, spice jars included. All that's worth keeping is the jar of curry (the most interesting and intriguing of all the spices)... meaning, I may be keeping the more intriguing posts off this blog, or at the very least, just keeping the best ones for later use like a bottle of curry one would use to revive last night's rice dish.
(written in the Summer of 2007 after waking up from a strange dream ...sent back to me in Nov 2010 along with the instructions:USE THIS IN A BLOG!!! DO IT NOW!!)
The superior quality coins
I just woke up from having a symbolic dream about walking through my childhood neighborhood and finding icebergs and a waterfall where there once lived a lake. Strange. I think moving water signifies emotional change and a letting go of some sort (the waterfall) which, given my state of mind and thereunto topics during such time, makes total sense.
And, I believe the iceberg represents the ice cubes that fell out of my glass of whiskey when I fell asleep.
Kidding. It was scotch. There's a difference...dammit.
So when I woke up, I realized that I had turned the TV off in my sleep (I believe I probably turned it off during the waterfall segment of my dream...you know, change your life, turn the damn TV off). Once I realized that my "background noise/pacifier" was off, I turned the TV back on and the first thing I heard was, "You wont be getting the inferior quality coins, but of course, we are sending you the superior quality coins."
Life is thus reduced to an infomercial. How appropriate:
"You won't be eating the good chocolate today, but of course, this carob pie is much better for you. The 'but of course' transition from one alternative to the other is akin to choosing a mate.
"You won't be getting the person that could make you happy one moment, and totally miserable the next, but of course, in time you will getting the person who makes you feel normal. Which for you Michelle--because the TV talks to you---will be a miracle because in fact you are not normal because you are trying to use a cheesy arse line from an infomercial as a metaphor. Weirdo."
The interesting angle about all of this: one could argue which part of the above is "superior" or "inferior." I suppose passion and normality are all subjective, and true happiness is getting what you emotionally need. Unfortunately, some people need the oscillation to be truly happy. Now, I'm not quite sure where I fit into that equation, but I am inclined to reject both "coins" and go for the dollar bill because I'm guessing that true happiness is found with all the coins, which inevitably can be exchanged for a dollar bill.
Think about it. It's deep. I promise.
Kidding about the scotch by the way. It was KoolAid. It's one thing to drink someone else's "KoolAid"...but a whole 'notha deal to drink your own, which is exactly why I'm starting this blog.
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